I just want to keep this post organized, so I’ll be using a “top 3” list. It should help me sort out my thoughts into distinct points, instead of a run-on sentence.
Top 3 Lessons Learned:(1)
Just because you care for someone doesn’t mean that person feels that to the same degree. (2)
The level of loyalty that I expect in my friends is (apparently) uncommonly high. I never realized how lucky I was to have friends as wonderful as those in Baton Rouge. Our loyalty ran deep, like that of family. I feel like the level of honesty and loyalty that I want in a friend is uncommon in South Florida. It’s disturbing that people can be so inconsiderate of the feelings of people that are supposed to be their friends. A lot of bullshit has gone on behind my back this year in Jupiter, which I believe could have been prevented if people would have just considered the feelings of the other people involved in the situation. I would think that anyone around me could guess how I would react (uh badly, duh), plus I know that other people tried to drop hints about the inappropriate nature of the shit going on behind my back. There are certain things you just shouldn’t do. If you consider the feelings of others, you should be able to sort out what’s the best decision to make. Too bad I had no idea what was going on for months and that the people that knew didn’t tell me until I started asking very specific questions.
(3)
My intuition is always right. I have second guessed my intuition. I was absolutely right, so I don’t understand why I felt like I had to dismiss my intuition with some lame excuse. I could have saved a couple critical experiments if I hadn’t dismissed my intuition! It's nice to see that my scientific intuition has developed so much this year. :)
Top 3 Resolutions:(1)
Save money. I would love to have money set aside at graduation time, because I don’t know if I’ll immediately have another source of income. I already have my bank account to automatically transfer money into my savings when I get paid, so that keeps me from spending my raise. I'd like to save more than just my raise this year though. We'll see if I can reach my goal.
(2)
Control my temper. I’ve worked really hard to control my temper ever since my cussing out my labmate and making her cry last year. I’m known for picking out a person’s insecurities and turning screws into people over those insecurities during arguments. I usually don’t mean what I’m saying; but if I’m in a heated argument, I have a tendency to want to emotionally crush the person I’m arguing with. The combination of vicious insults and hardcore belittling will usually cause the other person to fuck off (… and cry). It’s not something that many people have witnessed, but I’ve been told it’s scary. In my attempts to control my temper this year, I’ve let things slide until they reach a tipping point. At that time, I try to peacefully talk through the situations instead of yelling and wanting to spit on the other person. (I consider spitting on someone to be the worst insult ever.) Given some of the unpleasant situations of the year, I really tried to handle them without snapping at people. Both of my closest friends (Heather and Jenn) were shocked to hear that I didn’t cuss anyone out or flip a table on anyone. Haha.
(3)
Work on professional style, including not biting my nails! I make this resolution every year, but it’s time to really try to stop biting my nails. I went three weeks without biting them this year (a record!). That didn’t last when the worst of the drama was bubbling up. So here’s to trying again since the new year should be more peaceful!
